Thursday, 10/04/2007

Blog Entry #7

Yeah, yeah, yeah, The King hates you, we all know this. Today is my birthday. The one day of the year when you celebrate the anniversary since you crawled out of a giant vagina. What is a birthday other than: "Congratulations! You're one year closer to death!" I hate birthdays. Then again, I hate everything, but that's besides the point. Birthdays are a bunch of propaganda bullshit. That's all. I mean what's the big deal? Is living another year of life really a good thing? Because we all know that life is not a good thing. At least most of the time. Just remember the "dirty whore analogy". I personally think that being a year closer to death is a good thing. Why the hell do you think I smoke non-stop? When someone says to me, "You know smoking's bad for you!" I say, "Yeah, but it takes years off your life." What I really should say, is to tell them to fuck off and mind their own God damned business. They'll tell me to stop smoking, but they won't tell the fat lady stuffing her face to stop eating. Because it really is the same thing. Birthdays do have their kicks. It's the only day of the year that everyone has to be nice to you. Because it's your birthday! Why do we celebrate birthdays anyway? There really isn't any special reason. You celebrate the day you were brought into this miserable existence. At least I can get drunk, eat too much, and smoke way too many cigarettes without getting shit from anybody. That's a good thing. The only day I could be me and no one is allowed to complain. And don't forget the presents. You get free shit for being human. For walking out of a giant vagina and living long enough to relive that day. And believe me, you don't want to relive that day. Neither does your mommy. Oh yeah, and the waitress at the restaurant with the tits, she hears that it's my birthday and she's practically sucking my cock already. That's the reason why I'm sitting here typing with a very strong odor of gooey pussy residing on my fingers. My keyboard's going to hate me. Well, Happy Birthday to me and go fuck yourself. The one day of the year I can say that, and you can't say shit. Ha ha! Because that would be rude of you. Now I'm going to take 12 shots and call you in the morning. Sorry, I mean afternoon. 

Posted by The King at 6:54 PM EDT

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