Sunday, 09/16/2007

The King still hates you. Try not to judge too much. I'm not that much different than you. I'm an everyday guy, with everyday problems. I may have different views, but who gives a shit. Unlike most people, I don't hide anything. I speak my mind, and subtly isn't a part of my vocabulary. People try to act "normal". But what is normal anyway? I don't believe in the word. Maybe it's the complete opposite of what I am. I don't try to act normal. In fact, I try not to be. I am as open as I can be. You can ask me anything. Even my penis size. And if the right person asks me, I'll tell you. Which the right person is anybody, unless you're some gay dude who wants my cock. In that case, I won't tell you. I do have my limits. But I'll give you a hint: It's between average and big. Not that bad, huh? Especially for a Jewish guy. Why do people try to live up to today's standards? What is "normal" anyway? Everybody wants to be socially acceptable. Who really gives a fuck? Nobody wants to be original and have a mind of their own. This reminds me of something my 6^th grade guidance counselor told my dad once. This is what this jerk off said: "He doesn't think like other kids. He's different." No shit! You're right, I don't think like other people. Why the hell do you think I'm doing this dumb blog on the Internet? Because all you guys are too much into routine that you don't know how the fuck to be yourself. Trying to be "normal". But why do you want to be normal anyway? What's the big deal? I'll tell you something, there is no such thing as normal. It doesn't exist. Never did, and never will. Maybe I'm a little nuts (I probably am), maybe I am different. But who gives a fuck? It's not like you're not a little nuts. You all are. Then you trash me for telling you how it is. Being honest can also be called "kicking yourself in the ass" these days. Now I want to give some vital advice to all you guys out there. When your girlfriend asks you a question and she says: "Be honest." Don't you even think about it! Whatever you do, do not tell her the truth. "Does this dress make my ass look big?" or "Did you sleep with that girl?" or "What did you do at that party last night?". Just don't do it. In order to make your relationship work, there is one thing you have to do. Lie your ass off. I made the mistake of being nothing but honest with my latest ex. And yes, it kicked me in the ass. When it comes to anything in life, live by this motto: "When in doubt, lie your fucking ass off!"

Posted by The King at 12:01 AM EDT

Updated: Monday, 09/24/2007 6:37 PM EDT

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